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Friday, September 9, 2011

Sunset in Floripa

We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Still clueless and curious

It is really hard for me to analyze relationships and dating here. Hell! I am not the greatest at relationships, so it's hard for me to analyze relationships anywhere I am, but for some reason I am very intrigued by Brazilian's dating life and will continue to study some of the complex answers I get from casual interviews I have made and understand some of the things I observe.
Again, the things I'm posting are the glimpse of the start of my research project, meaning that they aren't very serious remarks or observations, although they are building up to become them... hopefully.

Last week, I was having a conversation with one of my gay friends. We were sitting on a bench below a huge tree watching people walk by and then he just asked me,"what would've you done if a guy asked you out and then just talked to your friend the entire night?" Then he continued to say that this guy was never disrespectful or a jerk, he was just very into the conversation with his friend, and at the end of the night when his friend left, the guy continued the conversation with him, still enthusiastic and interested in him, but by this time my friends was mad and ended up leaving. Normally, my dating advice is not the most reliable and I am not ashamed to admit it, I think my relationships work because I don't take anything seriously and if I get mad about something I will just tell it to the person's face and leave. Maybe not the best way to deal with things, but then again I usually don't find myself in these cat and mouse games. But after meditating and considering the possibilities of why Brazilians in general act so alive and forward, I came to realize that maybe they are so honest with their feelings that they seem bipolar at times. They seem to act just as they are feeling at the moment, putting their reactions out there for everyone to see and expressing their feelings so freely that Americans are usually scared to take part in this emotion parade and interpret them as a betrayal, falseness or hypocrisy.

To make this a little bit clearer. What I've come to see and know about Brazilians has mostly been through comparisons with Americans. I know for a fact, that Americans take longer to get used to a person they are dating and can even take a year before they say the gargantuan three words of I love you. But a Brazilian can say I love you the second time he or she sees you because they just feel like that at that moment, it might not mean he or she wants to spend the rest of his or her life with you, it just means that in that moment that person really does love you and is not scared to say it, but at the same time they are never too serious when it comes to relationships. So far all of the guys I have met below the age of 25 have had less than two girlfriend but have lost count of the n umber of girls they've kissed and they all seem to be scared of commitment because everyone here is so free when it comes to meeting new people and the possibility of falling in love that they feel scared to commit to just one person, they give of the impression that they want to be in love all the time with everyone and they are not able to put all of those emotions into just one person. As to Americans, most of my guy friends have had several girlfriends or are actively looking for one, most of them have never said I love you and a lot of them are afraid of commitment but for other reasons. In my opinion, I think it is the fear of getting hurt or predisposition to the relationship's failure. I might be generalizing a lot here, but the core observation that I have made here is that everyone here is so in love with the idea of falling in love and they will do anything to attain it even if it means being with a different girl every week.

In the end, my friend agreed with me. He was so enlightened by the idea that for some reason honesty can seem as hypocrisy when we are dealing with our feelings. And although, he said he understood the guy better when he saw him through his cultural customs instead of his actions, he still said he wasn't into it and that he considers himself more reserved to the expression of his feelings to handle so much freedom with another person's feeling. I don't think they talk anymore. I always thought dealing with the rules of dating was a burden, but now I know for a fact that cross-cultural dating is even worse.

 Comment if you agree or disagree or think I am generalizing a lot... I need help with me research paper!